As a mom to a medically complex child, I know firsthand the weight of this journey. My son is young, and I know he probably won’t remember the countless surgeries, hospital visits, or the beeping of monitors from his early years. But as his mother, I carry those memories, the trauma, and the emotional weight of each moment. I carry the worry, the love, and the resilience that this path demands, and I know how draining it can be when you’re giving so much of yourself every single day.
Filling my own cup has become essential for me. As a parent in this position, taking care of myself isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. When I’m depleted, the stress seeps into every part of my life, and it affects my patience, my mood, and, ultimately, my ability to be present for my son. I make time for a massage once a month, and I go swimming whenever I can. Being underwater is my escape—where everything becomes peacefully quiet, and I’m forced to focus on my breath in a gentle, unlabored way. It’s my moment of release, where I can let go, even just for a while, of all that I carry.
And I’ll be honest: when I don’t take time for these moments, it shows. I get overwhelmed, I snap, I cry, and I have less patience for my child. The quality time I want so much to give him gets lost, which feels awful as a mother. That’s why filling your own cup as a parent of a medically complex child is so critical. We carry the trauma, the worry, and the weight of so many responsibilities. Taking time for ourselves allows us to show up for our children and families with renewed strength, patience, and love.
These experiences give me a deep understanding of what it means to parent a child with complex needs, and they shape the way I support other parents in this journey. The parents carrying both the love and the weight, trying to be everything for our children while needing to care for ourselves, too. I know the path you’re on because I walk it, too.
Why Filling Your Cup Matters
When you’re on an airplane, you’re told to put on your oxygen mask before helping others, because you can’t help if you’re depleted. The same principle applies to caring for a child with complex needs. Without recharging, stress and exhaustion build up, affecting your mood, patience, and even your health. Filling your cup helps you stay grounded, clear-headed, and ready to meet your child’s needs with a calm, steady presence.
Your well-being is also directly tied to your child’s. Children are incredibly perceptive and can sense when we’re stressed or overwhelmed. By making time for self-care, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also creating a more positive, relaxed environment that benefits everyone in the family.
Ways to Fill Your Own Cup
It’s easy to say, “Take time for yourself,” but we know that finding that time can feel impossible. Here are a few realistic, gentle ways to begin filling your own cup, even in the midst of a demanding schedule:
Small Moments of Mindfulness – Even just five minutes of deep breathing, stretching, or a quiet cup of tea can help you pause, relax, and refocus. These small moments add up and remind you that your needs are valid. A great resourse for this is the Magnificent mumma 28 day transformational shift, check it on in the website.
Connect with Nature – I do this all the time as a nature therapist, I know the power of nature for my body and I love to hear it talk to me in its own uniqe way. When possible, spend a few minutes outside. Nature has a calming effect that can lower stress and provide a moment of peace. Even if you can’t step outdoors, bring nature inside with plants, natural light, or even just opening a window and if this is a bit tricky chat with me as I have a whole tool box of nature therapy tools for you that I am more than happy to share.
Seek Emotional Support – Connect with people who understand, whether that’s friends, family, me or a support group. Talking with someone who truly gets it can be incredibly healing. Don’t hesitate to reach out as we can provide guidance and emotional support tailored to your journey.
Set Boundaries Around Your Energy – When you’re constantly giving, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. Prioritize what truly matters and don’t be afraid to say “NO” to things that drain you. Giving yourself permission to step back when needed is a form of self-care. But we know boundaries are hard to set, if you want some support with this please reach out.
Embrace Self-Compassion – Be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. Self-compassion goes a long way in easing stress and helping you feel more resilient. GRACE!
The Impact of Self-Care on Your Family
When you fill your own cup, the impact ripples outward to your family. You’ll have more patience, energy, and presence for your child. You’ll feel less overwhelmed and more capable of handling the daily demands that come with being a caregiver. And most importantly, you’re showing your child a powerful example of self-love and resilience, teaching them that their own well-being matters, too.
Caring for yourself also allows you to approach your child’s care with a clear mind and an open heart. When you’re recharged, you’re better able to make decisions, advocate for their needs, and celebrate their victories with joy and strength. It’s a powerful reminder that nurturing yourself is, in fact, one of the most loving things you can do for your child.
How Little Feathers Supports Parents and Caregivers
At Little Feathers, we understand the challenges and rewards of caring for a medically complex child. We’re here to support you with holistic, long-term guidance tailored to your family’s unique journey. Through compassionate counseling, life coaching, and nature-based therapies, we provide a safe space for you to recharge, find balance, and fill your own cup.
Whether you’re looking for a moment of peace, emotional support, or simply a place where you feel understood, Little Feathers is here to walk with you. Remember, taking time for yourself is not an indulgence. We invite you to reach out and discover the transformative power of self-care with us.
You’re not alone, and you don’t have to do it all on empty. Fill your cup with us, and let’s create a foundation of strength, resilience, and love together. So, if you’re feeling that weight, if you’re struggling to keep your own cup filled, I invite you to join me. Together, we can connect, support, and build each other up. Let me help you find those moments of peace, resilience, and balance so that you can be present for your child—and for yourself. Reach out and let’s walk this path together.
Sending you big big big love,
Erin
Comments